CasStory ☆

Sunday, March 02, 2008

2 March 2008 Sunday

just a random post.

i keep saying :" i feel fine. " when asked where i got posted to.
but do i really feel this way?
sometimes i wonder its that a lie.
maybe.
maybe not.

i can't change the fact that i'm in ITE.
i mean i don't look down on ITE schools or students.
but yea, to other people, they do find ITE an eeeew, bleh when they hear/see the words -ITE.
thats make me feel so hurt.

eg. ITE is for stupid (i hate this word alotalot) and dumber people to study. All ITE students all AhBengs, Chao Ah Lian, Pai Kia. All is like cannot study type la.
Its The End for them, no hope one.

i don't agree with that. seriously.
but why do people keep saying that and feel this way towards ITE ?
although i disagree with it, but with all these rumours and all this shits keep nagging at my ears, i had enough. you won. made me feel like how you guys feel i am like in ITE, which you think it is !

i tolerate.
i control.
i did everything to stop my emotions being thrashed up.
hais. why must it be me?

my mummy talked to me.

Mummy said: " Don't feel so down. ITE may be an easy way out for you since you are seriously a slow learner. But thats doesn't mean you are dumb or hopeless. Even if you're not in poly its ok. ITE is not a bad school. Don't compare ITE and Polys, they are actually the same, equal status. If you really feel bad getting into ITE, then treat it as God wants you to feel less stress towards study, you're not so pressurise being in ITE as compared to Polys. You got offered to ITE, feel honoured that there's a school that would wants to accept you. As long as you got books and a place to study, it doesn't make any different where you studied from. Is how you look into this matter and how you feel towards it. Don't get confused by others's words. Its all depend on how you study the books and apply it to your knowledge/skills. Also, if you judge the school, you're judging yourself as well. If you listen to others's words, you will not be happy in ITE, can never accept yourself and the school . But if you think, Hey ITE is ok what. We learn things differently and are more skilled (due to more hands on work). Students there are ok as well. ITE is just a name, why feel so inferior about it? Anyway, the government are building more and more ITE schools means they strongly feel that there's a need to increase skilled workforce be in the working industry ASAP. You will mean alot to them. ITE is how you judge it, just likehow you judge a person. If you think its/she's/he's like this, then they are like what you think lor. If not so be it. Follow your heart. Don't keep think of the word ITE, just study happily and put in your 100% effort. Be happy of who and what you are :D " -translated to English for better understanding. If in Chinese, it will be meant so much better.

yupyup. its true. i feel fine :D
i feel so good after my mummy's talk. She makes me understand. But i feel so bad/guilty that i kind of disappoint her. So i hope i can achieve at least a something, maybe award or be recognise for my hardwork in ITE and show it to her. Hope i can excel. hehe.

the terrible feelings are back again.
though i no longer have the " O, damn it. ITE is a %!#$%^&*!!~^&*()_+ "
but seeing all my friends around me getting into Polys/JCs of their choice, i do feel sad/angry about myself. Some of my friends who didn't really excel during normal CA/SA exams, all scored better than me in Os. I am happy for them but i can't feel the same way towards myself. Although i am satisfied with my results couse i didn't really expected to get that results and i feel remarkable. haha. (maybe not for you but ya me). weird lor. hias. i just got to blame myself for maybe not working hard enough though i thought i had given my best shot -_-!

O well, it feel so good letting all out at one go.
leaving nothing but a fullstop.

erase all unhappiness, c'mon its life.
accept the way it is and be happy about it.
if there's no ups and downs in your life,
it isn't life.
it means you're abnormal. oops.
SO COME ALIVE AND SHINE WITH ME :D

you are reading post from the G.O.H ☆11:59 PM